A Red Pill truth is that women and men love differently. In fact they love significantly differently. Men love idealistically; women love opportunistically.
Men In Love
All men love idealistically. Beta males, Blue Pill alphas and Red Pill alphas all love idealistically. The only difference is Red Pill alphas are the only ones aware they love idealistically and that women love opportunistically.
What is meant by idealistically is that men believe love is for love sake. In other words, love “just is” and that there is no more to it than that it exists between the sexes. It is a difficult proposition for the unplugged, or unplugging, male to try and understand his way of loving a woman when it is inherently idealistic. This is because it comes with trying to understand something that “cannot really be understood”. It actually can be understood, but it takes adjusting one’s mind to the proposition that it can be based on an inherent liability, especially in the modern post sexual revolution feminine society. It can be an inherent liability because it is at an opposition to a woman’s opportunistic love that is based more on realism than idealism. With that said, it comes with more of an acknowledgement than an understanding. Even when a Red Pill aware man becomes aware of his way of loving a woman, he needs to understand that it still a love for love sake ideal. His way of loving will never change. This takes a lot of deep thought to come to terms with because a woman will never be able to reciprocate this love in the same manner. Just becoming aware of such a dynamic at play begins to change the mindset of a man into that much more of an alpha.
It has been believed that men love idealistically due to societal conditioning, i.e. Disney romances and romantic comedies etc. This is only partly true as these are only a “reinforcement” to his idealistic love. In other words, even when these “reinforcements” do not exist, such as in our historic past, men still love idealistically; there was just no Red Pill to become aware of these “reinforcements” or to understand the way he loves.
Oneitis Beta Lust – Non Intimate Lust
Oneitis lust is when a man has an unhealthy emotional attachment that comes from an irrational emotion idealism that he has planted in his own mind with a woman. This is often with a woman he notices, has close proximity to regularly or is sometimes friends with (beta orbiting). Men are aroused by a woman’s looks, nothing else. With that said, it is not uncommon for a rational man’s mind to begin to wander and to piece together idealisms with a woman that, for instance, he does not really know. He only knows what she looks like; he does not know her as an actual person. He is only aware of the “sexual packaging” and not what is behind the eyes. This is not unique as it happens to a lot of guys. The source cause of this idealism is down to the “reinforcements” mentioned before. It is also down to societal conditioning of the post sexual revolution to make men into beta males. What the guy is inherently doing here is “filling in the blanks” of what is missing with this woman which is her presence in his life. Oneitis is a beta disease trait caused by societal conditioning of the adolescent mind. It is also caused by the wiring of a man’s brain to be “outward” focused rather than a solipsistic inward focus like that of a woman’s brain. The “outward” focus is a root cause of a man’s idealistic love. What he does not want to acknowledge, or refuses to acknowledge, is the possibility that she could be a total bitch “behind the eyes”.
Lust has been analysed in the male brain to cause a hit of feelings on a man similar to that of a hit of heroine. It is a pretty fucked up experience when a man feels it because it cannot be understood. It is related to a males testosterone levels. It just happened. He cannot understand how “she got through the door” of his heart. If a man ever experiences lust like this, it causes irrational thoughts, even for a rational minded male. A man who has experienced these irrational thoughts caused through an emotion can begin to understand why women are so highly irrational; it is because women are highly emotional and emotions and irrationality go hand in hand. That is a fact true to both sexes.
The guy who is experiencing this lust without love is suffering from a beta Oneitis disease trait caused by societal conditioning and needs to sort it out. This lust is caused through idealisms of imaginations with said woman and has nothing to do with intimate bonding lust which is discussed below. A man can “snap out” of this lust by “detoxing” from said woman, i.e. cutting contact etc or becoming Red Pill aware. In fact, the easiest way for a man to snap out of this “non intimate” related lust is to sleep with other women – period. It solves this beta oneitis disease pretty damn quick (PDQ). Any man who has experienced this will be able to relate to how fucked up and irrational it is. Men have hit the DMs on Instagram wanting help with ways to assist in getting over this, so it is very common. He will imagine their idealistic life together and what the kids will look like etc. Men can be highly irrational and illogical when in lust.
As this lust can happen even when a man does not know said woman as a person, from a man’s perspective, lust, therefore, is inherently different to love.
Intimate Lust and Love – Alphas and Betas
A man’s love is when a man knows a woman as a person. He loves her personality, how she makes him feel and how he makes her feel etc. Love is not what causes the strong feelings of attachment, lust is. Lust and love are related, however. A male’s lust and love are both idealistic and not opportunistic like a woman’s swooning and love.
When a man has sex with a woman it creates a bonding of him to her. The orgasm that a man experiences with a woman that caused that orgasm creates a bonding to that woman. This is healthy for reasons of attachment to procreate and raise a healthy offspring together. At the end of the day, sex is, ultimately, for procreation. It still doesn’t deter, however, from the fact that it creates an idealistic attachment. An idealistic attachment because he feels she is going to feel the same attachment to him in exactly the same way. This is where is can become a liability for both beta males and Blue Pill alphas without a Red Pill understanding. This bonding through orgasm can create the lust heroine like hit of attachment (separate to knowing the person) followed by his love for the person based on how he feels about her personality, how he makes her feel and how she makes him feel.
The Blue Pill beta male is in the worst position possible if in intimate lust and love with a woman in a relationship because he not only believes women love just like he does, but he subscribes to a “soul mate” mythology and a “lack of options” mentality.
It is a recipe for disaster with men hitting the bottle with a worst case scenario being suicide on his part. This is why men need to unplug. Rollo Tomassi at The Rational Male has had men say to him that he has saved their lives through them now understanding women.
Even for the Blue Pill alpha, the emotional feelings of lust and love for a girl cause irrational thought processes. This is why it is so easy for beta males and Blue Pill alphas to drop all hobbies and drop all male friendships etc and make his girl “his world”. His lack of understanding of his idealistic, and unreciprocated idealistic, love from a woman conditions him to think that his life is now complete since meeting said woman. The beta male becomes even more of a beta, and the Blue Pill alpha gets betarised down by his “soul mate” woman. Both become complete puppy dog simps.
The beta male and betarised down Blue Pill alpha are also the ones most likely to lose a girl if she is in a relationship with said man in his and her 20s because she gets sick of his beta ways. The beta male in a relationship with a girl in their 20s is almost guaranteed to end if she finds an alpha alternative or at least a lesser beta male. She has too many other opportunities before she hits her epiphany phase around her 30s to stick with this man. The woman in a relationship with this beta man or Blue Pill alpha at her epiphany phase, however, will be less inclined to leave this man if she cannot find an stoic alpha alternative; the thought will still cross her mind, and she will subconsciously be aware she is with a beta male.
The biggest irony here is that a woman can beta a man down bit by bit with talk of what she wants from him; what the man does not understand is that a woman does not understand her emotions and is highly irrational. She is relying on him, subconsciously, to control the relationship with his rational mind. The Blue Pill alpha and beta male do not realise this fact and, therefore, do everything that she wants as a way to try and keep the relationship healthy. It is male deductive logic to do so. It is only when she realises that he is “not the man she met” once he becomes so god damn beta that she leaves him. She betarised him down bit by bit then left him. This is the guy down the pub that says “I don’t understand because I did everything she wanted”. What the beta and betarised down Blue Pill alpha do not understand is that she is irrational. She does not realise that she did this betarisation of her LTR mate that she now has the hypergamous urge to leave him. Obviously, this was inherently his fault for “letting it happen”. A woman’s rationalisation hamster rationalises a reason for why she has lost all respect for her once respected partner and that none of it is her fault.
Some males inherently “just get it” and the betarisation does not happen. Unfortunately, this is all too rare of an occurrence and is one reason so many relationships implode. Becoming Red Pill aware is beneficial to both men and women in creating healthy marriages and LTRs.
One Night Stands And Unhealthy Beta Attachments
One night stands (ONS) and friends with benefits etc is where it gets tricky to understand. Even Rollo Tomassi at The Rational Male could not directly answer how one of his readers who frequented ONS developed feelings for all of those he slept with.
It is inclined that this is actually caused by the intimate orgasm attachment pair bonding lust mentioned earlier. The guy experiencing this probably is a beta male; one of those rare beta males that can actually experience a lot of ONS, most likely caused by just being a good looking dude that just “turns up” and the pussy falls in his lap. His beta thinking is not viewing the women as “sex objects” like alphas do. He is actually viewing them as “soul mates” and probably thinks each one is his “soul mate”. He was probably told to play everything nice. He hasn’t got into his head that a male’s sexual strategy is a “scatter shot” spread the seed strategy, again caused by improper societal conditioning.
This is likely the root cause of his unhealthy attachments. Blue Pill and Red Pill alphas do not form much of an attachment to women on ONS because they know they are not going to stick around said girl; that said, if Blue Pill and Red Pill alphas had regular sex with this girl and got to know her personality and liked her as a person, he would eventually fall in lust and love. Alphas have their own mental point of origin, unlike beta males, so negates said attachment because his idealisms do not become such liabilities for ONS.
Women In Love – Hypergamy And The Dualistic Sexual Strategy
Women love opportunistically. This is their hypergamous opportunistic sexual strategy; the strategy that is rooted in doubt of “is he the best I can do” persistent questioning of her hind-brain throughout her life. Hypergamy is alpha seed and beta need in the modern sexual marketplace western society. Ideally, she would like the arousing alpha to be both her seed and need; however, these cannot realistically be found in the same male because the alpha is fulfilling his scatter shot seed sexual strategy and won’t settle down with her. She has, therefore, separated them out into what is known as sexual pluralism; she has literally separated arousing alphas apart from the beta providers she, often reluctantly, has an interest in at her epiphany phase around ages of 30 to 35. A man learning Red Pill truths has to realise that this is not conscious on her part. It’s easy to think that she is doing all this deliberately and is a witch for doing so. She isn’t at all. It is just her irrational emotional brain subconsciously telling her to do it.
Some women hit the hypergamous jackpot and find the “male unicorn” of alpha seed and need in the same guy (beta and alpha traits). The downside to this is that the security he provides is always in doubt. She is dreading that he will up and leave at any time. With this in mind, she is more than willing to settle with a beta that has no clue he has been settled on. He has the attractive provider traits, but he is not like the arousing alphas of her past.
A woman in true feminine love is a woman who loves the alpha. She is in a complete submissive state to the dominant alpha. Her true love for the alpha does not necessarily mean the alpha loves her back. In other words, her love for the alpha does not rely on reciprocation from him. Think about why a woman who gets beaten by her husband or boyfriend sticks with him. She’s in love with him, even though he does not love her back. Her hypergamy is satisfied with him. She normally feels this love for the alpha because he has been so dominant with her that he has alpha widowed her. The sex sessions between her and this alpha are exactly like the depictions in her romance novels she reads. Her hypergamous opportunism is completely satisfied.
This is the direct polar opposite of the beta male in love with the woman that settled on him. A woman with a beta male whom has had alpha experiences like that described above will never love the beta like she loves the alphas she has experienced. The beta male is in full idealistic love with a woman in a LTR or marriage whom will never love him like he is expecting to be loved. She is an alpha widow. Worst case scenario is she is disgusted by the beta male she settled on. She fucked up her hypergamy and knows it subconsciously. Again, in this instance the betas love for the woman does not rely on reciprocation from her. He does not know she is not in idealistic love with him like he is with her. He does not know that she is not in “alpha love” with him.
Unfortunately, it is the conflicting ways each sex loves the other that often causes a lot of love relationships to be one sided love. Either he loves her and she doesn’t love him, or she loves him and he doesn’t love her. If men and women loved the same, there would never be broken hearts.
Women And Swooning
Women do not lust like men in an idealistic way. A woman swoons. Her hypergamy is opportunistic, always. In her adolescence she swoons for those that “depict” alpha. She will swoon for celebrities and guitar players in popular bands etc. What she does not realise is that they may not be alphas at all because alpha does not equate to a stereotype. Her adolescent youth just “assumes” they are by their status. This swooning, like male non intimacy lust, does not rely on knowing the other person as a person. Think of posters of Harry Styles on their walls etc. This swooning does not cause an unhealthy attachment disorder like a beta oneitis type attachment. If she found out he was a beta chump, the posters would come down, or be torn down, in disgust at ever having thought he could be an alpha. Her emotions flipped on him like a switch. A woman has the ability to “flip the switch” on her emotions for a man quickly.
The take home message from this blog post is that a woman will never love a man like he so idealistically believes she is able to. Her hypergamous doubt of “is he the best I can do” prevents this from ever being possible. This is why women can, and often do, up and leave relationships and marriages at any time out of the blue. There is no relationship “equity”. No amount of “effort put into the relationship” on the male’s part will counter the effects of her hypergamy. Her emotional irrational brain does not even compute this.
It is also why they usually are the ones to get over the, especially beta, relationship breakups quicker than men. No amount of orgasm intimate pair bonding is going to attach a woman to a male like a male so idealistically believes she is able to. A woman’s brain wiring is fundamentally different to a man’s. Even her true love for the alpha is still rooted in persistent doubt. A woman’s primarily love is reserved for her children and her children only.
Rollo Tomassi at The Rational Male says men are the true romantics because a man’s love is based on idealisms whereas a woman’s is based on realisms.
The final point to make is that women cannot be blamed for this at all because they do not know they are doing it. In fact, they are doing exactly what nature intended them to do to ensure the best genes get passed on to future generations. Some Red Pill arenas “blame” women for this behaviour. This is exactly what one would expect to hear from a rational male with rational brain wiring. Red Pill truths are to understand women to make men better men for themselves and women; it is not to hate them.
Definitions Of Terminology Within The Article
Beta Orbiter: A man in a woman’s friendship group that has interest in said woman with the idea to try and escalate himself to intimacy with her at some point. The woman may or may not know he has interest in her depending on whether he has “taken his shot” at her yet. She will always try to put him back in her orbit regardless of whether he has tried to escalate to intimacy with her. This is solely for her ego and attention craving. She does not give a shit about the betas feelings. She despises beta males. If he can get out of orbit, he should do so immediately.
Hypergamy: A woman’s dual sexual strategy of short term alpha flings (if her looks can enable it) in her youth before settling into comfortable long term commitment with, usually, a beta when her sexual competitiveness starts to fade usually around 30 to 35 when she cannot attract alphas anymore and wants to cash out the sexual market place (SMP). The age a woman “cashes out” is dependent upon her circumstances. Hypergamy is always asking her hindbrain “is he the best I can do”, even in marriage. It is rooted in doubt; hence women love very differently to men. A woman’s hypergamous sexual strategy is opportunistic. A man’s is idealistic.
The Epiphany Phase: The point in a woman’s life when she has an epiphany that she should probably settle down with a male before her fading sexual competitiveness makes her a spinster. This is usually around the age of 28-35 depending on the attractiveness of the woman and her personal sexual market value (SMV). She would ideally like the arousing alpha but is starting to realise she will have to settle with a beta. Urgency kicks in at this stage as well because of her want for children.
Alpha Widows: Women who have been so emotionally in love with dominant alpha males in her past that she has come to despise beta males. She finds it difficult to pair bond with beta males and be in true love with them. She sees beta males as male girlfriends.
Oneitis: An unhealthy attachment of “soul mate” ideological thinking on a male’s part to one woman. It is a caused by a “lack of options” mentality and societal conditioned beta thinking.
Red Pill Alpha: An unplugged male who understands women.
Blur Pill Alpha: A plugged in male who is an alpha that most likely knows some idea about woman but hasn’t studied Red Pill philosophy. He could definitely benefit from unplugging. He probably subscribes to an ideal of “soul mate” mythology or some other Blue Pill ideal that could get him fucked over easily by a manipulative woman. He’s possibly good at getting one night stands (ONSs). He’s possibly the guy who is an alpha with friends but beta with women. He can easily switch from Blue Pill Beta to Blue Pill Alpha without knowing.
Beta Male: A plugged in male who usually provides just security to a female. He views women as “the prize” by default of his societal conditioning. He commits easily, believes woman love just like he does and doesn’t understand women. He does not understand his value to women.
Female Rationalisation Hamster: It is the creature that inhabits the female brain and helps them spin out rationalisations when they get into a predicament. When faced with a dilemma, the female brain that houses the rationalisation hamster causes the hamster to start working by jumping on its wheel and running really hard. In the process it spins out a rationalization – an excuse that absolves the woman of the blame and predicates it upon farcical self- justification.
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