A question I get asked a lot on my Instagram is “Hey when I’m out with my girlfriend, she gets hit on all the time. What is the best move to make here? Should I stop the guy from trying to approach her? Or should I pretend to not care and act aloof?” The concept of Mate Guarding explains how to handle situations similar to this perfectly.
What is Mate Guarding?
Mate guarding is intrasexual competitive behavior that men perform to protect their mate from sexual advances from other men and to prevent their mate from falling in love with a more dominant man. The man not only mate guards as a means of paternity assurance, but also to save face, to avoid being outcompeted by other males, and to avoid having to start all over again courting a new partner (something women do not need to worry about with their passive sexuality).
Usually what most men do when they find out their girlfriends have male friends or see them being approached constantly by other men is to “act dominant” and command her to stop talking to them or to not entertain their advances. In return, this backfires against you because it shows that you feel threatened by these other men. This is a great display of insecurity that will ultimately lower your attraction to your woman.
You are indirectly communicating that you fear that she will leave you for another man. You are telling her that she is a high value prize that you are desperate to maintain. That you don’t have abundance to replace that high value prize. You are telling her that you fear these other men are better than you- and she will believe you
Right And Wrong Times for Mate Guarding
I see it as simple as this. If your girl is entertaining other men, then she is not your girl. Either use her to satisfy your needs or just move on. Now if you two are out in public, like at a bar or something similar and a guy tries to hit on your girl in front of you, give her the opportunity to shut it down. This is the perfect scenario to see where you stand with her. If she shuts the approach down quickly, then that’s obviously is a good sign that she respects you. If she flirts back with the guy then she is also doing you a favor by showing you that she is not relationship material and you don’t further have to waste your time on her. Now if she shuts the guy down and he becomes more persistent or even touches her, then that’s when you step in and end that fast. Your woman is an extension of you and by another man doing something disrespectful to her, he is disrespecting you. From there you have two options. 1. Verbally tell him to leave or 2. Knock him out. Either option depends on the individual.
Experience Is The Best Teacher
If your relationship gets to the point that your girlfriend is getting too close with other men, flirting, or other red flags of cheating, you messed up a long time ago and mate guarding is not the solution. In fact, mate guarding will exacerbate the issue because you will decrease your attractiveness even more. Take a step back, evaluate where you went wrong, where you decreased your attractiveness, and become better. Life is a learning experience and painful moments are our best teacher.
I recommend The Rational Male to further your understanding on the red pill.