How To Properly Approach A Relationship

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After many months of routinely saving a portion of your paycheck, you sit in the dealership excited to finally get the dream car you’ve always wanted for years. The dream finally becomes a reality. You receive compliments from all your friends and family. There’s no feeling like it, the extreme happiness and satisfaction of finally getting what you worked so hard for. If you’re somewhat like me, it might even trigger a “spotlight effect“, feeling everyone on the highway or even at a red-light is staring at your awesome brand new car.

A week passes by and the dopamine rush from your new purchase is still high, but not as high as driving it off the lot. Whenever you stop by your local Walmart, you park as far as possible to protect your baby. You even take a glance back at her while walking towards the entrance to admire her natural beauty.

Three months pass by and the rush you felt for your new car has finally sizzled. You’re now familiar with every little detail of her exterior and interior. You’re able to predict her ability to handle turns at any given speed, and also how fast she reaches 0-60(5.3 seconds for me). Everything becomes familiar and predictable.

Let’s fast-forward 1-5 years, you’ve put 50,000+ miles on your car. It’s broken down a handful of times and even after replacing all the parts that need replacing, deep down you know the probability of something going wrong is getting higher as time passes by. You no longer feel any excitement getting behind the wheel and the car you felt was a blessing becomes a burden. You’re left with the option of maintaining the vehicle to keep driving it or buying a new one.

Obviously, humans are not cars. Whether we feel happiness from another person or a materialistic item, the feeling is still the same. At the beginning of the relationship, your dopamine is at an all-time high. All you can do is think about your partner nonstop when you’re not around them and feel like you can’t keep your hands off of them when you see them.

Unfortunately, like everything in life, we get tired of doing the same thing over and over, or seeing the same person repeatedly. After a while your partner’s habits become predictable, daily routines are set, and sex that was once an unpredictable rush of emotions becomes a planned chore. I believe you can measure the health of a relationship from the amount of sex a couple has and quality of it. Fights increase and you start to see flaws in your significant other that you were too blinded to see in the beginning.

In the end your relationship is left with two options.

  1. Work on maintaining the relationship for the sake of raising kids or achieving a mutual goal.
  2. Break up and start the process all over again.

Breakups are usually inevitable and most of us experience heartbreak at one point in our lives. But that’s the beauty of being human. We can take the experiences of our past relationships and let it make us a stronger and better person for tomorrow.

If you enter the relationship with the mentality that it can end at any moment, you’ll most likely take advantage of the time together and enjoy everything that person has to offer. Then when it’s finally time to part ways, the sting won’t be as painful.

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